i'm sorry i've alienated the people close to me. i'm afraid i got so caught up with myself and my worries, i built a wall around me, to keep me in and unfortunately keep them out. i've screwed everything up this time.
some of the loveliest people around, i haven't talked to for weeks, maybe even months . those i don't get to see face to face, those i see five times a week. i don't know how to talk to my grandma anymore, i still don't know how to broach a conversation with my grandpa, i haven't sat down and chatted with my parents for a while. i don't know why you walk past acting as if you hardly know me. i haven't said more than a few words to dan or ching or sarah or llama or becca. i don't know what's happening in my family, i don't know what's happening at home. i don't bloody know what's going on in the lives of the people i care about the most.
and it's taken me this long to realise how lonely i've become, spending the past few weeks setting the stupid wall. brick by brick. all by my thick-headed self.
i'm sorry.
